we are not the same i am a martian

sometimes i dont realize how old i am.
i find myself looking at facebook (i think my life would be better without it), at people from high school or even middle school, faces that i associate with a much younger, more innocent time in my life, and i get this weird feeling like i've done something wrong or am doing something wrong because i feel so distant from them. like i crave to be at that age again, doing whatever i was doing. going to the pool, playing soccer, eating creemees, sleepovers, calling boys at late hours. instant messaging about funny things. even working at staples. having bonfires, drinking mountain dew.
the fact that this past seems so long ago makes me nostalgic for it that much more. while high school wasn't that long ago, there have been so many changes that it might as well be 5 years ago, rather than 3. and this is probably what caused my major regression this summer. the summer before going abroad, the summer preceding my final summer as a college student--i freaked out. and then it was a major progression coming here, getting yanked out of that whole scene into a new culture where i had to establish my sense of independence or else it would be 4 months of hell. so that down then up caught me off guard. i didnt realize the present divide between a relatively old youth and this new, older youth.
so with all that, i cant look at these people on facebook and feel bad. its just that life happened and nothings wrong with that, we're all doing our thing and we have to appreciate that. people go different ways and that's the best part about growing up--the ability to have a gauge so you can realize change and embrace it, or you're stuck.

but mostly we all just need to get over ourselves.